


Love is What Makes you Human

by kanamidos



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, also maybe kinda character introspection??, idk i just have a lot of feelings about chiakana, this is just me trying to sort out all my feelings about ryusei bonfire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-11-02 01:16:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanamidos/pseuds/kanamidos
Summary: ever since that day, chiaki has been wondering a lot about kanata.a companion fic towhat makes a god human





	Love is What Makes you Human

**Author's Note:**

> i have a lot of feelings about chiakana okay
> 
> this fic is meant to be read alongside my friend shiro's chiakana fic (you can read it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438792)). knowledge of the other fic isn't required to fully enjoy this one, but it'll surely enhance the experience. you should read it anyways if you like chiakana.

Kanata belongs to the sea. Chiaki knows this. 

He’s known this for a while now. He knows from his go with the flow look on life that mirrors the gently lapping waves against the beach as they do their own thing. He knows from his voice, which sounds so close yet so distant at once, almost like how the ocean is another world entirely that’s within a few footsteps. He knows from even the little details too, like the cold and sometimes damp grip on his own hand and how he always seems so far away from everyone despite being so close.

Kanata really is the ocean himself in a way. Mysterious but familiar. Distant and far away yet so, so close. He’s so far away in that sense he almost feels unreachable and forever lost.

Despite this, Chiaki tricks himself into thinking he’s just like him, his friends, or anyone for that matter. It’s easy to forget how vastly different he is when he’s able to hold him close, to feel sweet nothings whispered almost unbearably hot on his skin, or to simply acknowledge his mere existence here with him. After all, the ocean is miles upon miles away from the sun. Almost as if the distance was to forbid them from ever coming close.

So it’s no wonder why Chiaki can’t understand Kanata fully. It brings into his perspective how painfully different they are. The sun and the sea. A god and a human.

A boy who yearned to be a hero. And a boy who needed a hero.

And yet, in spite of all of this, the two of them had decided to unite as one come the next school term after performing together. Yes, to take the lead of the once dying Ryuseitai that Chiaki considered a dream more than a unit. Kanata had gracefully taken up the offer to be it’s second in command, yet a part of Chiaki wonders if Kanata felt obligated in some way, or felt forced to for the sake of his own selfish dreams in that sense. Maybe Kanata had also had the urge to help others for the longest time now, never being able to awaken that desire for many years.

And so yet again, Chiaki is left wondering about Kanata.

Wondering about Kanata is something he’s so used to at this point, so it’s not a bad thing in his mind. If anything, he quite welcomes it, he kindly welcomes any opportunity to try and understand the workings of this strange boy he calls a friend, a companion, a partner. Even if he never really gets anything from it, more questions fill in the gaps of what little answer he might have, and so it’s an endless cycle. Wonder, wonder, _wonder._

Spending more time than one should just trying to understand a friend is something not everyone is used to, but Chiaki has welcomed these constant thoughts about Kanata into his life. It’s almost therapeutic in a way; just the simplest ideas about why Kanata does this or how Kanata does that are so constant in his life. He can safely assume that no matter how used his partner gets to truly living alongside him, he may never know everything.

The one thing he always asks himself is how Kanata is able to have such a relaxed and carefree outlook on life compared to his own reckless one. A part of him strives to be like that, but he knows he can’t do it so easily. He knows an ally of justice can’t be so go with the flow in the case of danger coming up, sure. But Chiaki isn’t as dumb as he appears. He knows that the stark contrast he has from Kanata is vital to their relationship. 

An ocean and an ocean is peaceful and all, but there’s nothing interesting about it, at least to Chiaki. Only when the sun can shine upon the waves does the beauty of the world itself get to come forth, dousing the whole world under those waves in the gentlest of lights and to keep the cold and distant world of the sea itself feeling warm and loved. And for a boy who is the sea himself, it’s the most important thing in the world that he knows he’s loved and cherished by someone, being wrapped in the sun’s gentle embrace and heart warmed by such love.

Perhaps that’s all he will ever know about Kanata Shinkai.

And if that’s all Chiaki will know, then that’s good enough.

Chiaki struggles to open heavy eyes against the soft light filtering in through the window. He blinks a few times, resisting the overwhelming urge to shut them once again and go back to his unconscious state. The last thing he remembers is being so exhausted, so, _so_ exhausted…

Fighting off the urge to collapse back onto the stark white sheets below him, he rubs his eyes as he takes in the sights around him now sitting up. Sure enough, he recognizes this area as the infirmary of Yumenosaki, with the drab decor, white… everything, and just the slightest sight of Jin in the corner of his eye. He assumes he must have been brought here by someone, as he sure doesn’t remember being here prior to whatever happened that made him lose consciousness.

“Chiaki?”

The words are so sudden, the make him jump a little bit. Even if it was just his name, the gentle voice which they were delivered by seem to put him in a trance, and all Chiaki can do is wonder how such a sweet melody is allowed to exist in the form of something mundane like Kanata’s voice.

There he goes again. Wondering without a visible end.

“Oh, Kanata!” He can feel himself smile a little too much at just the concept of speaking to Kanata. An impulse wave to him as well, as if to communicate once again “I’m awake! I’m here!” to his partner who has opted to take a seat next to the bed Chiaki currently lies upon.

He can see Kanata fumble around with bandages in his hand, straightening them out as if he was going to use him. Kanata looks up and the sun seems to have hit his eyes at just the right angle; his eyes squeeze shut as the rest of his facial features do as well, and something so simple is able to get a warm laugh out of Chiaki for the first time that day. A smile finds way to Kanata upon just the slightest sound oh his laughter reaching his ears, a sight Chiaki cherishes so, _so_ dearly no matter what the circumstance may be.

Silence rules for a few seconds after the laughter fades out. “Chiaki, ‘hold out’ your arm.” A strange request, he decides. But not wanting to fight him on this, he does as told, holding out his arm to Kanata’s direction. A small smile from Kanata as he gently rolls up the red fabric of his unit jacket so gently, it makes Chiaki wonder if Kanata was rougher he’d feel like he was injuring him.

Chiaki’s breath catches slightly in his throat at the sight of inky purple bruises and the sight of a bit of bright red blood staining his skin. He figures he must have reopened a recent injury, something he’s used to as unfortunate as it may sound. Judging by how he’s still in his unit outfit, the most accurate conclusion to come to is just another clumsy mistake in unit practice turning into something a little more painful. Although it’s a somewhat common occurrence nowadays with a new wind of Ryuseitai coming forth, it still manages to hurt the same as every other time.

The soft, gentle sensation of Kanata’s skin upon his is just enough to get his mind off of that matter and onto the thought of how overwhelmingly gentle Kanata is, as if he was drowning in the most gentle sea the world has even known. Floating back and forth between gently rocking waves that intoxicate him to never swim back up for air. Perhaps that’s just Kanata’s charm; like a siren luring him into the choppy waters of no escape, except it’s a gentle song upon gentle seas.

He winces a bit as Kanata starts to work on his arm, applying some sort of material that’s supposed to disinfect a wound but just hurts like hell instead. A part of him wonders if Kanata even knows what he’s doing, but those doubts are soon washed away like inscriptions on the sand when the salty water rushes over them. Of course he knows what he’s doing. This isn’t the first time he’s been patched up by his partner, and he knows it’ll be far from the last as well. Besides, being in a unit that centers around heroes and all, he figures it’s just the desire to help all of those who need a bit of help.

Chiaki starts to speak up about something, but his mind can’t even focus on the small talk at hand as he once again, falls into the endless trance of wondering. No matter how much he wants to focus on the casual talk about heroes or whatever Chiaki thinks about, he simply _can’t._

There’s just too much to think about. Too much to wonder about.

Of course, it can’t be a normal day around Kanata until he starts to wonder about how Kanata is adjusting to life as a normal human. He seems to be doing well, at least by his standards. He’s starting to ask less questions about the mundane and his utter confusion at the more elaborate is more easily handled compared to when they first met. It makes his heart fill up to the brim with some sort of pride, threatening to overflow and spill out. It’s almost like watching a child grow up after holding their hand for so long to guide them. Kanata seems to be figuring himself out more and more every day, along with the world.

“...Kanata?”

“Hmm? Do you ‘need something?’” His voice is so gentle and beautiful, Chiaki really has to wonder if Kanata is secretly an angel in disguise. His sparkling emerald eyes lock in with his own caramel brown ones, a look of such genuine… something making them appear even more beautiful than usual, if such a thing was even possible.

Chiaki is able to get a full look of Kanata’s face now and it still feels so… foreign to look at this boy he’s known for almost two years now. He knows it’s Kanata Shinkai. He’s always known that. It’s just a little hard to get used to the shorter hair and all.

He vividly remembers that day; the day he ran into one of the quiet practice rooms after following the echoes of someone sobbing their eyes out from the empty hallway. Running with all his legs could give without collapsing, he just knew someone needed his help, even if they weren’t capable of screaming it out. 

Upon nearly stumbling onto the floor, all he was met with was a red faced Kanata surrounded by choppy strands of blue hair on the ground. To this day, he isn’t sure what caused this sudden fit of panic within Kanata to cut off his beautiful long hair. But the next thing Chiaki knew it was him doing the work instead, with a desire and longing to make the damage he has already done look nice. He likes to think it turned out alright, judging solely on how… beautiful Kanata looks right now in front of him, waiting for him to speak up again.

Of course, it’s beautiful. After all, Chiaki thinks Kanata looks better as someone normal than some untouchable god he was tricked into living as for so many loveless years.

He thinks love is a really nice look on Kanata.

“Not really. I just wanted to… ask you something.”

“Oh?” Kanata bobs his head to the side, the curl atop his head following suit. “You can ‘ask me’ anything, Chiaki.~”

Chiaki rubs the back of his neck, trying to alleviate some nervousness. “Do… do you think you’re getting better with reading other people? And yourself too?”

A soft smile from Kanata as he starts to wrap the bandages from earlier around Chiaki’s forearm. “Hmm… I ‘want’ to think so.” His smile fades a bit, a ghost of what it once was. “But… everything is still really ‘confusing.’ I can't ‘tell apart’ some of them, and I ‘don’t know’ what others are…” Kanata laughs, albeit slightly defeated sounding. “Are you ‘mad’ at me?”

“No, not at all!” Chiaki takes his free arm to reach over to Kanata’s, entwining their fingers together in a pure impulse action. “I think… I think you’re doing well. You don’t need to know everything in the span of a day, Kanata.” He can feel his body start to warm up upon realizing that Kanata’s hand is grasped within his. Sure, they’ve held each other’s hands in the past. But something about now feels a little different.

“...Chiaki.” His gaze shifts downwards to his feet. “I… feel ‘something.’ I don’t know ‘what it is… I feel ‘warm’ and like all my ‘lonely’ is going away…”

The realization of the feeling Kanata describes hits Chiaki like the waves hit an unknowing person with their back turned to the ocean. A part of him wants to tell Kanata it’s a little feeling called “love.”

But the other part of him decides it would be more fun for Kanata to discover for himself.

“You’ll learn one day, Kanata! Just give it time, alright?”

The sparkle in his green eyes seems to have been replaced with confusion in less than a heartbeat, but it soon returns with a small nod and smile from his partner.

The infirmary is drowned in silence once again, as if the whole room was underwater. The only sounds that remain are Kanata’s soft humming here and there and maybe occasional remarks from either of them. And now with nothing more to ask Kanata, Chiaki lets his mind loose once again and sure enough, it finds more ways to wonder.

He’s close to wondering about how well Kanata’s adjusting and all to being human but that thought is soon answered, a rarity within his endless thoughts about this strange boy he met one day by chance.

This boy who he let stay by his side for as long as he needed. This boy who was excited to learn everything he could about humanity and everything that came with it after the lies he called his life shattered like fragile glass right in front of his eyes. This boy who represented everything beautiful about everything in the world that it all had to be a dream…

Of course, Chiaki has learned so much more about the world and about himself in the process of Kanata taking his first steps to understand the world itself. Learning to become brave and to believe in himself no matter how hopeless it all might seem, learning to give a chance to the ones who needed help and saving the most, learning to rescue a boy who lived surrounded in darkness of lies his whole life towards the shining warm and light of the sun…

In a sense, Kanata saved him too. Saved him from being swallowed up in the burning flames of his own doubts as a hero, proving to him that sometimes, being a hero isn’t exactly like the shows he’d always watch as a sickly child. And learning to pull someone out of despair towards something better, like coming up from the dark and murky depths of the seabed to the beautiful sea at sunset which carried the blue color he loves so much…

Chiaki just has to wonder what it all means.

The spark that had gone off between the two at their first meeting reignites itself within Chiaki as he can’t help but smile and wonder no more.

He knows it’ll still be a while before Kanata understands everything. And even then, he won’t even know it all. Chiaki doesn’t know everything in the world himself. But he knows deep within his heart that Kanata has it within him to understand the world and his emotions so well, nobody would ever assume he was blind to such experiences for almost seventeen years.

And he knows knows it’ll be a while still before Kanata can put a name to the new feelings he gets subjected to around his leader. But it really just proves it even more to Chiaki.

Maybe Kanata was human this whole time and only now he was able to know that.

After all, love is what makes you human.

**Author's Note:**

> i really didnt know what i was doing halfway aside from sobbing on my keyboard about how theyre totally in love but i like to think it looks nice
> 
> have something to say about this fic, my writing, or just want to say hi? catch me on twitter! @kanamidos is where to find me, thank you for reading!


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